Scream (Funk My Life Up) by Paolo Nutini
Okay, I do know what you’re saying but I’m going to ask you to hear me out for a minute.
Regardless of your age or experience level, I want you to ask yourself what is the true root of your loneliness? Do you think this can be fixed by having someone else ‘fill’ a part of your life in a certain way? What happens when that person leaves, or you realize they don’t fit the hole that you wanted them to?
In the modern age (and certainly in the past) we have come to define ourselves and our self worth by the status that society gives us based on our relationship with another human in a romantic way. Instead of encouraging people to look within, to get to know themselves, to go on walks alone, to look at the stars alone, to get ice cream alone…society has created this fictional division of single v. non-single people in the public and private sphere. We have lost our ability to date ourselves, to laugh alone, to go to dinner alone, to be okay with being alone because you simply have yourself. I really think if you’re lonely in life it is not because you want a cute relationship or someone’s hand to hold that is longing, goals, desires, etc., it is because you haven’t dated yourself enough to be in a loving relationship with self. I’m not encouraging you to be a hermit, have no friends, no lovers, nothing like that…what I’m encouraging is to not date someone just to fill a space within your own heart. Only you can fill that space inside through self-love and only then will you truly have a sincere emotional connection with someone else that is not trying to shape them into the same size and shape of that (loneliness) space within you.
beautiful, wise words. read it, it’s worth it.